4:45 AM - We arrive downstairs for coffee and juice and wait for Ricardo, the SUV driver that will take us to our boat, to arrive.
5:15 AM - After waiting 30 minutes and realizing that Ricardo is running late, we ask the lady at the front desk to call him and see where our driver is. We get charged a $1.20 fee for the two phone calls.
5:30 AM - Ricardo finally arrives. We lug our baggage into his trunk and get into the middle seat of the full SUV including Ricardo's wife AKA Big Bertha in the front seat.
7:45 AM - After almost 2 1/2 hours of driving in the dark through the jungle, we arrive at port Miramar. We are told that our boat is due to arrive at 9 AM and will take us to our island (playa Naranja/Narasgandup)
9:15 AM - Newsflash from Ricardo: our boat is now scheduled to arrive at 10 AM instead. We figure that chances of this happening are bleak.
10 AM - No sign of boat. Idan has a convo with Ricardo in broken Spanish regarding the payment for transport. They settle on $25 per person including both car & boat for one way and pay the rest upon return.
10:15 AM - Sloane falls asleep with her mouth wide open while sitting in a shack full of hundreds of cases of empty soda bottles.
10:45 AM - Idan wakes Sloane up as Ricardo points out our boat approaching the dock.
11:00 AM - After taking 15 min to unload its passengers and their cargo, our boat leaves the dock again to refuel somewhere.
11:30 AM - Boat returns to load our baggage and charge us $20 per person to ride. We cover our bags with trash bags. After giving out our passport info to some shady Panamanians for the 17th time, we board the dainty boat filled to capacity. Idan spots Sloane's stray shoe on the bow. Didn't even know it was missing. Sloane freaks out thinking her other shoe must be missing. Thoughts of hiking Costa Rica on one foot begin flooding her mind. Idan searches through piles of trash bags to find her other shoe and saves the day.
12:00 PM – Settle into our seats and throw on lifejackets. We are approached by a small Kuna Yala man who asks us for $40 to ride. Conversation in Spanish follows:
Boat man: aslkdf veinte dolares…
Idan: nosotros pagamos el guido de turistas y incluido caro y rancha tambien (points to a blank-faced Ricardo standing on the dock)
Passengers on boat: just pay the $20 like we all did (thanks, assholes)
*Ricardo & boatman have a pow-wow…
Ricardo: just pay the little man
12:15 PM – Boat takes off. I mean really takes off. Kuna Yala driver is flooring the gas, taking us straight into the waves of the Caribbean Sea. We hit wave after wave taking us 5 feet into the air, smashing down giving us major ass pain, all while clinging for dear life to our valuables.
1:30 PM - Much to our surprise, we did safely make it to the airstrip and immigration hut at El Porvenir. Pay $2 tourist tax successfully and receive immigration stamp on random piece of paper that means nothing. We wait 30 minutes on the dock for the rest of the passengers who decided to pay the tax while others simply chose to abstain.
2:00 PM – Dropped off the Jewish Kuna Yala woman wearing a Star of David necklace at the school (a shoddy yellow shack on the water).
2:30 PM – While dropping off some passengers at Isla Tony, a random Kuna Yala man with long hair sitting on the dock turns to Idan and says, “Ma koreh achi? (What’s up bro in Hebrew)” Idan is in shock and wonders how he even knew that we understand Hebrew.
2:50 PM – Arrive at our island after dropping everyone else off. Step off the boat onto what can only be described as paradise or gan eden. Six huts, two hammocks, one kitchen, two friendly dogs (one Snoop), white sand beach, palm trees, coconuts, semi-friendly Kuna Yala host family. We are greeted by the chef who says, “Comida? Cinco minutos.”
The lunch menu includes fried fish, fried plantains, salad, and fresh, delicious Pina. Beer? Free we hope. False, $2 a pop.
Our hut: two full-sized beds, malfunctioning light bulb, one difficult lock, and a door leading to the sea. Island mates arrive. They come from Amsterdam and Belgium. We begin to explore the island and of course we meet a group of Israelis on the other side of the 200-square foot island. We have lobster and fresh crab for dinner, which we saw being killed during lunch. We went off to bed before a 7 AM snorkeling and fishing adventure.
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